The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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