Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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