hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
