listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
