I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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