Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
