I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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