You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
