She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
did i just pee glitter
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
