so explain again why im purple
no
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
