Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
