problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
