hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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