That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
