I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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