if only i could text you this smell
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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