Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
