i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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