Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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