For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
