also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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