no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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