SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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