I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
