Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry turbidus hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.

Fav 23 1918 3565
share tweet
(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

Fav 20 1235 3029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...

Fav 15 1489 4959
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

Fav 18 5962 3095
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

Fav 5 1023 2429
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

Ecstasy should be its own food group.

Fav 5 1521 1060
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

Fav 6 1093 858
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

Fav 0 887 479
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?

(803): View more from South Carolina

Fuck you for even being able to ask that question

Fav 0 91 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT