Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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