Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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