Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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