normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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