It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
