Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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