so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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