Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
