We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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