saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
