just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
