I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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