That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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