the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
