Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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