well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
