Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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