We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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