He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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