What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
