I'm going to jail i love you
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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