Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
