It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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