Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
