We got so high we made milksteak
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
