I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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