Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
